I've Cracked.

I've have officially cracked.

I- I can't take it anymore. I still love that guy.................... I tried. I just can't let go. My head says no but my heart says yes. I still want him back. I still want to him to take me back. I still... It has been almost 4 months since that last incident happened and ever since I've been hoping he would come back to his senses but my hope was just in vain. He still wouldn't talk to me... It's unfair he moved on faster than me. How can he do that... I know what I did was really hurtful but I learned from my mistake. I'm having a mental breakdown. I can't take it anymore. I want to talk to someone about this but I don't have anyone... I wish I can tell this to his best friend but it's not easy for me. I'm literally holding back my tears just because I'm somewhere else that is not my room or I would have cried bucket of tears. I really just want to make things better between us eventhough I know he somehow already have someone else in his life. I just want to have another chance to not mess it up.