It's been too long...
I've been having this dilemma, should I risk my pride and blurt it out to him or keep it to myself until I feel like it's the right time. It sucks really... this feeling I've been feeling since that day. But something is holding it back. Something that I don't have the power to stop it. So I've been keeping it to myself for the past few months, really. Though at time it kind of sucks not being able to tell the truth and sometimes it feels great keeping it a secret because you get to enjoy getting to know this person. The saying "a boy and a girl can never be just best friend." is totally real. Experience once and experiencing it again. Once was a failure but the long-lasting friendship is still there, Alhamdulillah. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, from the first time you meet or known each other and just suddenly one day you share secrets or problems to each other. Life just can be bizarre sometimes. I still can't remember how I got so close to him till today... The feeling is great but honestly I'm scared. I've always been. I really like having a boy as a best friend, but sometimes the thought of might falling in love with each other might happen in the friendship, it always does. You can't seem to avoid it but it just matter of timing. Mine might be a bad timing. Can't really blame it, my life has been a mess of bad timing and wrong decisions in terms of relationship. Probably, reason why I was never in a serious relationship that could last more than a year. I was always that girl that wants to get married early and I still do. At the age of 22 years old, really.... I told my mum. "Ma, I want to get married at 22..." and she replied "You can, but do you have a boyfriend? Are you sure?" then we just laughed at that last statement. How am I suppose to make it happen if I can't fix it, right. I guess I would just have to wait and see. I almost had the chance to blurt it out but....
F.
I've been having this dilemma, should I risk my pride and blurt it out to him or keep it to myself until I feel like it's the right time. It sucks really... this feeling I've been feeling since that day. But something is holding it back. Something that I don't have the power to stop it. So I've been keeping it to myself for the past few months, really. Though at time it kind of sucks not being able to tell the truth and sometimes it feels great keeping it a secret because you get to enjoy getting to know this person. The saying "a boy and a girl can never be just best friend." is totally real. Experience once and experiencing it again. Once was a failure but the long-lasting friendship is still there, Alhamdulillah. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, from the first time you meet or known each other and just suddenly one day you share secrets or problems to each other. Life just can be bizarre sometimes. I still can't remember how I got so close to him till today... The feeling is great but honestly I'm scared. I've always been. I really like having a boy as a best friend, but sometimes the thought of might falling in love with each other might happen in the friendship, it always does. You can't seem to avoid it but it just matter of timing. Mine might be a bad timing. Can't really blame it, my life has been a mess of bad timing and wrong decisions in terms of relationship. Probably, reason why I was never in a serious relationship that could last more than a year. I was always that girl that wants to get married early and I still do. At the age of 22 years old, really.... I told my mum. "Ma, I want to get married at 22..." and she replied "You can, but do you have a boyfriend? Are you sure?" then we just laughed at that last statement. How am I suppose to make it happen if I can't fix it, right. I guess I would just have to wait and see. I almost had the chance to blurt it out but....
F.
